Saturday, December 31, 2011

a new resolution!

The year of 2011 has been one of a constant search for self-identity and groundedness. The author Gerald G. May writes in his book "The Awakened Heart" that our truest identity lies in our desire for love.

This desire for love ends up being masked in many other desires... We work for successes (self love) and affirmations (love from others), we work to be physically attractive (love from others mixed with self love), the list could go on and on but I want to get to my point... Maybe you can take a second to think about what desires characterized your past year and whether or not they can somehow be traced to a desire for more LOVE.

So, isn't my search for identity really just a search for self-love? And if I love myself, then other people can love me too! And maybe the universe will have some love for me! But first I have to discover why I am love-able.

I've searched for that in how I can improve my sense of humor, my education, my appearance, in how I relate to others... again, the list goes on. Yet, a puzzle piece is still missing from my "Why Marissa is Love-able Puzzle" (Find it at your local Target). So I brought it back to the customer service center and got a new one and now - WAIT, I've run away with this metaphor.

It occurred to me this morning that in my great search for "Who am i?" maybe I can take a cue from scripture when Moses asks Yahweh (Hebrew name for God), "Who may I say that you are?" and God replies "I AM WHO I AM." Maybe God is modelling for us how to discover our identities: Who am I? I'm not A Seminarian, A Girlfriend, or a Best Friend. I am who I am, and that is why I am love-able, because at the source of who I am is a deep well of desire for love. I desire love of myself, love for others, love from others, and love from the Divine.

I know I represent a very Judeo-Christian view, but look to other world religions and I speculate that you will find the same simple value of love behind their practices.

Gerald May says, "The only way to own and claim love as our identity is to fall in love with love itself, to feel affection for our longing, to value our yearning, treasure our wanting, embrace our incompleteness, be overwhelmed by the beauty of our need."

So, my New Year resolution is to ask for MORE LOVE. GIVE ME MORE!