Outdated and No Where to Go (Or: Now I Know)

Last night I looked at my mac and thought "Mac, you can do anything" and inserted a mini disc into the disc drive.
When my mac didn't make any groans of enjoyment, I realized my mistake.
I quickly made an appointment at the genius bar of the local Apple store.
First thing this morning, I rushed to the mall.
Waited 15 minutes for my appointment.
The genius took my computer and jumped up and down.
The mini disc fell out.
Pure genius.

a new resolution!

The year of 2011 has been one of a constant search for self-identity and groundedness. The author Gerald G. May writes in his book "The Awakened Heart" that our truest identity lies in our desire for love.

This desire for love ends up being masked in many other desires... We work for successes (self love) and affirmations (love from others), we work to be physically attractive (love from others mixed with self love), the list could go on and on but I want to get to my point... Maybe you can take a second to think about what desires characterized your past year and whether or not they can somehow be traced to a desire for more LOVE.

So, isn't my search for identity really just a search for self-love? And if I love myself, then other people can love me too! And maybe the universe will have some love for me! But first I have to discover why I am love-able.

I've searched for that in how I can improve my sense of humor, my education, my appearance, in how I relate to others... again, the list goes on. Yet, a puzzle piece is still missing from my "Why Marissa is Love-able Puzzle" (Find it at your local Target). So I brought it back to the customer service center and got a new one and now - WAIT, I've run away with this metaphor.

It occurred to me this morning that in my great search for "Who am i?" maybe I can take a cue from scripture when Moses asks Yahweh (Hebrew name for God), "Who may I say that you are?" and God replies "I AM WHO I AM." Maybe God is modelling for us how to discover our identities: Who am I? I'm not A Seminarian, A Girlfriend, or a Best Friend. I am who I am, and that is why I am love-able, because at the source of who I am is a deep well of desire for love. I desire love of myself, love for others, love from others, and love from the Divine.

I know I represent a very Judeo-Christian view, but look to other world religions and I speculate that you will find the same simple value of love behind their practices.

Gerald May says, "The only way to own and claim love as our identity is to fall in love with love itself, to feel affection for our longing, to value our yearning, treasure our wanting, embrace our incompleteness, be overwhelmed by the beauty of our need."

So, my New Year resolution is to ask for MORE LOVE. GIVE ME MORE!

State Your Claim

When I used to babysit for a little girl named Heather, we would take long walks to the park. These walks took us through the main street of town, where we would inevitably pass by shop windows. We made a little game of choosing which outfits were our favorites.

Don't worry, I think this was the only gender stereotype that I encouraged... I hope.

The point is, I've always seen getting dressed as an opportunity for artistic self-expression. You wear your mood and expectation for the day on your body. Maybe you feel like being really cozy, so you layer up until you are well bundled. I hope that was a very cuddly day. Maybe you feel like doing something differently, so you dress out of your norm. I hope that was a day of breaking out of norms. The way you look can be an extension of your inner self, which is entirely up to you and no one else.

Since working in retail, that sense of artistic expression has morphed a bit into creating eye catching window displays. At ML Gifts & Accessories, that meant creating a colorful retro Holiday display:

At Kismet, which is more clothing oriented and has slightly smaller windows, this has meant focusing on dressing mannequins (yea, that's how you spell it!):







Which is your favorite? I think mine is the one with the red scarf/white t-shirt combo because I forgot about it until making this post.

next up....

coming soon...
remember when I landed a job at the lovely Kismet? I've been stock piling pictures of my favorite window displays and will post them later today... after work!

Let the nail biting begin!