Happy Advent One

There is a chalk board in the Trinity House dining room with a message that changed from "Happy Birthday!" to "Happy Advent One!" yesterday. Given more board space for accuracy, it should have read something like "Happy first Sunday of Advent", but in a house full of seminary students, "advent one" is effective enough.

In a culture of instant gratification, the building anticipation of the advent season does not come naturally. With our iPhones, iPads, Kindles and iBrains, we tend to focus on what we can have now rather than on what we can eagerly expect, but must wait for. Yet, if we keep our appetite at bay and allow ourselves to feel the hunger rumblings grow, the satisfaction of the arrival of the Savior will be that much more delighted in. (This doesn't help to dispel accusations of Christian cannibalism, I know.)

In this first week, one can feel the tension of waiting begin with the singing of Advent hymns. Yesterday, in chapel, we sang "O Come, O Come Emmanuel" and I was particularly struck by the words of the last verse:

Oh, come, Desire of nations, bind
In one the hearts of all mankind;
Oh, bid our sad divisions cease,
And be yourself our King of Peace.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to you, O Israel!

With these words, let us be inspired with hunger and expectancy for the Peace that we long for, and that is to us promised.

Reprieve

I've listened to Ani Difranco's performance of this poem enough in the past two days that I thought a transcription was warranted. Yes, others have put copies of this online... but those versions don't match the one that I've been listening to. And, admittedly, I wanted to write this out. Word for word.
The written version in no way holds a candle to the spoken word. Click on the title to listen.

Reprieve

Manhattan is an island

like the women who are

surrounded by children in a

car surrounded by cars

Or, Manhattan was a project

that projected the worst of mankind

first one, and then the other has made its mark on my mind

It’s sixty years later

near the hypocenter of the A-bomb

I’m in the middle of Hiroshima

watching a twisted, old eucalyptus tree wave

one of the very few lives that survived and lives on

remembering the day it was suddenly thousands of degrees in the shade

And what all of nature gave birth to

terror took in a blinding rage

with the kind of pain it would take cancer

so many years just to say

Oh, to grow up gagged and blind folded

a mans' world in your little girls’ head

the voice of the Great Mother drowned out in the constant

honking haunting of the car crash up ahead.

Oh, to grow up hypnotized

and then try to shake yourself awake

cuz you can sense what has been lost

cuz you can sense what is at stake

Yea, so it took me a few years to catch on

that those days I catch everyone’s eye

correspond with those nights of the month when

the moon gleams like an egg in the sky

and men are using a sense they didn’t know they had

just to watch me walk by

and me, I’m supposed to be sensible

leave my animal outside to cry

But when all of nature conspires to make me her glorious whore

it’s cuz in my body I hold the secret recipe of precisely what life is for

and the patriarchy that looks to shame me for it

is the same one making war

and I’ve said too much already, but I’ll tell you something more

to split yourself in two

is just the most radical thing you can do

so girl, if that shit ain’t up to you

then you simply are not free

cuz from the sunlight on my hair

to which eggs I grow to term

to the expression that I wear

all I really own is me

Yes, to split yourself in two

is just the most radical thing you can do

Goddess forbid that little adam should grow so jealous of eve

and in the face of the great farce of the nuclear age

feminism ain’t about equality, it’s about reprieve

Female Ability

feminism |ˈfeməˌnizəm|
noun
the advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men.

In order to graduate on time from Westminster College, I was not able to double-major or minor in psychology. Instead, I took the non-credible route of taking as many psych classes as possible. Within that salad bowl of courses was one called Psychology of Gender, in which our mantra was "gender is a social construct.... gender is learned..."

My most recent paper looked at Exodus 15:1-21, a song which ends in an additional song by the prophet Miriam. The skim milk version of my thesis is that, by looking at the editing done to the text, you will find that Miriam didn't actually respond with a repetition of the song, but was the invitation into song in the first place. The way that this passage is currently organized gives credit to Moses and the Israelites instead of Miriam.

You're probably aware of how this can be inspiring to me as a female entering into ministry; it helps to identify a role model within my tradition. But more importantly, it reminds me that countless others have done what I'm inspired to do... countless others have paved the way. The Book of Women's Sermons, edited by the Rev. Lee Hancock, is another source of inspiration and affirmation.

As our society tells young women to figure out who's the prettiest, who's the sexiest, or even who's the most unique, I'm reminded of Dar Williams' lyrics from As Cool As I Am,

"And then I go outside and join the others, I am the others...
I will not be afraid of women, I will not be afraid of women.

Here are two great women from my life:

at rodeo beach

It takes 5 minutes for the sun to drop below the horizon at Rodeo Beach.

I've had a week off from classes this past week and have only now realized just how needed it was. It's been a week of resting, reading and relating. I've spent two days in the city, one day in wine country, an afternoon on a mountain and an evening at the beach. I had begun to feel like my world at seminary was getting small, until I experienced the many different worlds within a 20 minute drive.

Not every detail has fit together perfectly in this new life of mine. I've had my moments... sometimes hours of frustration or loneliness. Yet, I've been given time here. I have time to take care of myself and find the last missing pieces of healing that I didn't know could be found. Pieces that sometimes come in the form of fresh air and open space.

mom and dad

When I graduated from college I knew that I wanted to go to seminary. Yet, I resisted the urge to jump from institution to institution. Instead, I decided to spend my first year out of college living with my parents in Nyack, NY. I don't know how much I expressed this, but my goal was to make sure that i have a strong, adult relationship with my parents. When else in life do we get to choose our location with such ease?

When I look back on this past year I think of a wonderful work situation at Maria Luisa Boutique and well spent time with family and friends. It was a year of becoming grounded and secure in knowing where I come from.

This past week, I caught up with my mom on the phone and, soon after, knew that my goals for the past year have been realized. My mom and dad and I have gotten to enjoy each other, laugh together, have many serious conversations - both all together and in pairs - that have helped us to know and appreciate each other. When my brother has been home from school, I've gotten to spend time with him and see how he's growing and enjoying life. I'm very thankful for this.

Flight of Poets

Pairing six local poets with six local wines.

A friend invited me to his poetry reading at the Hotel Rex. Matthew Seigel is a Stegner Fellow at Stanford University, and moved to San Francsico from NY (hence the connection).

This was my first poetry reading, and was probably the best one that I could have begun with! Flight of Poets was a reading featuring six wonderful poets. For each poet, an "internationally renowned" sommelier (who had a notable stage presence) paired the local poets with six local wines. You were given a wine glass at the door and as each poet read you sipped on a wine chosen specifically to be consumed during the auditory consumption of their poetry. Fantastic.

In addition to the amazing works of my friend (who was the draw in the first place - please check out his website and enjoy it), some favorite lines included...

"my wife loves me as a neighbor"
- Paul Hoover

"I cannot tell anymore when a door opens or closes,
I can only hear the frame saying, Walk through."
- Ada Limon

"is it vanity that makes me see the imperfections in the glass?"
- Robin Ekiss

toe tapping

Click here to hear my inspiration for this post.

If you hear great music playing and I'm in the room, but you don't see me moving, look at my feet. I am the world's most intense toe tapper. There is more intensity in my toe tap than you'll see in a thousand shimmies. Don't get me wrong, I love to dance. But if I don't feel like dancing, my toe tapping will send music appreciation vibrations to China.